Tuesday, August 3, 2010

A snippet from my daily diary..

Everyday seemed a torture, every minute a pain. I kept wondering what the point is to be stuck up doing something you're not put up for. My mind was unclear, troubled by the thought of coping up with the other hundreds of millions like me. At times, my mind keeps sane, while otherwise I am eaten by the thought of the ill fate I'm facing. The constant prick of knowing that I could not achieve the only one thing I wanted badly for 6 years put my self-respect in the drains. I could neither sleep nor work. The boredom that entagged the work took out all my vigour and enervated my invigorated soul.
Days went by and still all I could do was dwell on the past. But suddenly everything changed, you could call it a twist of fate. The only factor was salary. Maybe you could call me materialistic, but the impact was unfathomable. I know that you would think that I would've become ecstatic at the arrival of the salary, but alas, it was exactly the opposite!! Yes, I agree that money did make me happy. I could finally gift my parents a few necessary items they lacked. Nonetheless, i realised that the job satisfaction was absent. This was not because of the nature of the job, but because my mind was wandering elsewhere. I was completely living in the past, brooding over something that never happened, the dreams that were shattered by the
test of time. I had enough. I made up my mind to make a difference. I did not find any reason to feel dejected when there was a plethora of opportunities awaiting me, if only I sought it.
Determined to find my inner peace, I set aside the regrets and focused on the highlights. It took me time but I found happiness in small proportions. Life started to glow again and possibilities waved in front of me. Finally, I had found my inner peace..